Kidney Operation

The man was late for his appointment. He was all a shuffle and flinging his hands around.The place he went grew a banana tree in it and so it was only natural to see monkeys about. The monkeys were evil and wanted the man's liver for their next session. The man, though, was not about to give his liver to the monkeys under any circumstances.

The receptionist made him sit down for a while. He put on his headphones and listened to some mantras, they weren't helping though, so he lit a spliff and gave that a try, but that only made him hungry, so he got up and started playing the banjo that was lying near the desk. He was having a great time of it when the receptionist said that he could go in now. He put the guitar down rather reluctantly and headed for the door behind the desk that lead to the smaller office where Dr. Pretzinstein would see him.

The man suffered from an inflamed kidney and had to have it removed (or so said Dr. Pretzinstein). The Dr. welcomed him with a handshake and a piece of angelfood cake. The man sat down and studied the pictures on the wall. There was a giant balloon in which gnomes jigged and one of his wife, apparently, who was completely naked. Dr. Pretzinstein saw the man looking at his naked wife and said:"She's a beauty, eh?"

The man nodded in the affirmative.

"So," said Dr. Pretzinstein, "How are you today, Alfred?"

"Oh, fine," Alfred began. "Well, not really, you see the inflamed kidney is really putting a damper on my lifestyle. Can you please do something."

"Yes, Of course," said the Dr. and in one swoop stood up and flung all clutter and objects from his desk. "Now," he said, "Take off your shirt and lie face down on the table."

Alfred lay face down on the table. The Dr. grabbed his hunting knife and began to sharpen it.

"Lovely day we're having," he said.

"Yes," replied Alfred, "I thought it might rain, but the sun shined through. Oh glory day."

"Indeed. Now, Alfred, this will be incredibly incredibly painful. Are you ready?"

Alfred thought a moment. "No," he decided.

"Too bad," and Dr. Pretzinstein plunged his knife into Alfred's back.