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Hermit

Do I have what it takes to shun society and cast myself off into my own idealized world?   I think not.  I've seen older single men; most often masturbating in bathrooms.  My meals would be entirely composed of chocolate bars.  I would invest in a pair of binoculars and spy on my neighbors.  Eventually my loins would lead me to Malaysia and I would invest in a lady of the night - that's if I could afford to go there, which I couldn't and would have to instead satisfy myself with lusty Asian videos.  Marriage would appease me from this dreadful way of life by having someone there to constantly stimulate me - like "Gregers" a yorkshire terrier.

If I get married it will be out of fear - fear of being alone.   Fear of becoming the man I described above.  Married men know their place.  They like sports and beer and shooting things.

Non married men are scary and dangerous.  Men to hide your children from.  Men to hide your purses from and to double lock doors on.  They are an unruly group.  If it wasn't for their proclivity towards solitude and the dirtier depths of the mind, they would be a class to be reckoned with.  Taking that path requires strength - like everything, including marriage.
  
So, I keep my hair long and hair on my face to deter a sexy lady from having acts of temporary insanity - states where she may find me attractive.  Attractiveness on my part comes entirely from my scent.   A woman may find herself getting hot in my presence and not have the slightest idea why.  It's me, baby.  I smell like charbroiled steak.   A curse I got from my father.  Luckily my breath smells like older potatoes.

3 comments:

JMH said...

This is dangerous stuff. It would be easier to dismiss you as crazy. Easier, yes, but no fun.

John Dantzer said...

What's not fun about crazy? Unless you're talking about hospital crazy. I've still got a few bricks to lose before I get there.

John Dantzer said...

I'm willing to make exceptions ;)