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We Like Having Cute Pets

Outside there is a coyote hiding under the trees to keep warm, and maybe attack a deer trying to do the same.  He sees me smoking, and thinks I can't see him, and I can't, but I guess he thinks I can, so he has to leave his warm little cubby hole underneath the trees.  I want nothing to do with his cubby hole.  I have a place away from the elements which I like to hide in, thank you.  I do not have fur, nor a long furry tail to wrap around myself, so even if I wanted to lie under a tree, or even if I had to, I wouldn't last long before I froze to death. 

Humans are not animals.  Or maybe we are, but we have lost most of our fur, except some men can grow a kind of grass on their faces, and you don't want to know what kind of animals inhabit those plains.  Hair also grows under our "armpits", and the animals there are similar, except more forboding and muskier. 

I saw a caribou, and the caribou has grown something akin to a scarf around it's neck.  "How fashionable," I commented, as I drove by.  If caribou are anything, it's fashionable, but try telling that to the minks, or the beavers, or any other animal whose pelt rich women want to drape themselves in.  When was the last time you saw an old woman in a caribou cape?  It probably hasn't been since central air conditioning was invented, and I bet you weren't even alive then.  Neither was I, but at one time we can assume caribou capes were all the rage.

What I mean to say is that instead of thinking so much about the next season of Chop Hoppers Delight, for example, we should be thinking of how great it is not be curling up underneath trees, and/or having to use nothing but our teeth to chew on animal carcasses which have been left there by some bigger stronger animal, like a sabre tooth tiger. 

Sabre Tooth Tigers don't exist anymore.  They were hunted to extinction, and with good reason:  It would be the last animal you would like to come across if you had to curl up underneath a tree.  The same goes for the giant eagles on the South island of New Zealand.  If a giant bird can pick you up and carry you off and peck your eyes out, it will be the first bird you want to see gone.

What I'm trying to say is, despite all the kind thoughts we have about ourselves we are in fact a ruthless species with nothing but our own survival in mind.  That's why we like our pets to be cute, and if not cute, then loyal, and if not loyal, then at least not that much of an inconvenience, and whom won't kill us whilst we sleep (cats).  Giant salamanders are still around because they live underwater, and humans do not.  If humans lived underwater, we could say goodbye to most species of sharks, most jellyfish, and any other mean ugly thing.  Having said that, I hope this new year brings more wealth and good cheer than did the last one.

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