Don't Lick Anything

Watching woman's beach volleyball and going to the bar are similar. In both cases there are scantily clad women flaunting their goodies, and in both cases I have nary a chance with any of them.

Watching woman's beach volleyball on t.v. increases the chances of me not getting anywhere, because in reality the woman are pixels of changing colour. The only hope I have in that case is if one of the beach volleyball players is psychic. If so, she may get images of a wild eyed, bushy haired man with a knife in his teeth swinging on a rope through the jungle. Chances are she would pass this vision off as a result of the tamales she ate last night, and I would be still without a beach volleyball player.

My chances are better at the bar, because those women are real. It could be argued that they, like t.v.s, are a conglomeration of point particles reacting with light to produce the images on my retina which in turn signal my synapses to fire, which produce the thing I see. The images can then be classified accordingly based on my prior experiences with the senses. That may be true, but the images on t.v. can, for instance, be licked, whereas, the images in my brain cannot.

If, however, I could take out my brain and locate the part of it that produces images, or the part that stores images, and licked it would it be the same thing? No, because the t.v. (which can be compared to my brain) is producing images that can be licked, whereas my brain is producing images that cannot. Trying to lick the images in my brain would be compared to licking the wiring of a t.v. and that would cause electrocution.

Although both the brain and t.v. can be licked the fact is both licking the t.v. and licking women in the public domain is considered bad manners and if I didn't get electrocuted licking the t.v., I would surely get slapped by licking a woman.

That's why I don't go to bars, because I can't lick anything in there.