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Driving near a ranch. Cows on the road.  They might as well be monsters.  They stare at me, and are thinking, "You have eaten of my sisters and brothers.  Prepare to die."

Getting on their hind legs, and with anger in their eyes, and their mouths frothing, they smash their hooves on the cars steel.  And it's just as I've always thought, when cows "moo" they are actually uttering death threats.  And the cows "mooed", and the onslaught of their moos, and their hooves, I thought I was dying.

Realizing I would be done for if I didn't think quickly, I wrapped my jacket around my head, so that my vision was reduced to that of a soft fabric tunnel.  Then, I thought I'd let the cows know that cars can moo too.  And it was as I suspected, the insistent, mechanical mooing of my car caused a small stampede against that invading hoard.  The rage in their eyes was quickly replaced with fear, and they all set off running, busting through gates and ruining crops as they ran.

I leaned on the horn as though playing a song of exaltation.  The sound echoed through the fields, and all the way to hell. 

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