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A New Court House

A new court house has been built outside of the city near the river.  The river here often floods in spring, so they elevated the building above the flood levels and added reinforced concrete embankments which act as walking paths and direct the water into predictable courses. If your knowledge of alien vessels was lacking, you might think this new court house was a UFO.

I don't know why they put the building way out there in the flood plains.  I heard it had something to do with jurisdiction, or what they might be contesting, or debating, or who they might sentencing is dubious or nefarious.  Like whatever is so ridiculous to be dismissed by regular court houses will be tried here.  But there are some weird trials in regular courts, I don't know how crazy a case would have to be to be tried here.  Maybe the insane peoples now have a right to dress up as judges and lawyers, maybe it's not a court house at all, but a theater for therapy.  There is a correctional facility nearby, and an insane asylum

Anyway, whatever it's for, they had a grand opening, and I had a chance to visit it with my Asian friend, who's knowledge of alien vessels was lacking.  He was too afraid to go in, and being a converted Christian, he crossed himself, hung his head, and scurried away. So I went in by myself.

Inside there was a hallway which encircled the inner courthouse.  The entire courthouse was circular.  The audience were allotted half the circle, and the seating was set up as an amphitheater, with the judges bench, prosecuting tables, defending tables and jury taking up the other half of the circle.  In the middle of the circle was a glass cube, which audience members could enter and sit in for a while.  It was heated, and acted like a sauna (however, some people used it as a masturbatorium).  Those who did were heckled, because actually, it was more of a meditation room.  The idea was you could meditate on the trail at hand.  But some people confused the trail for their penis or vagina and employed a different type of meditation at hand.

At the courthouse, a trial was being heard by a female judge.  She seemed to be wearing traditional robes, but there was an unpredictability in her manner, and she seemed to have troubles controlling the tone of her voice.  Observing her, I was reminded of a meth addict.

I didn't think anyone would pay attention to my entrance into the glass cube, since I had seen people coming and going, or cuming and going, as it were.  My intentions were to focus my mind and possibly spread love and joy.  I had no intention of spreading my goo.

It was hot inside, and relaxing.  I tried sitting in the most inconspicuous place, but there was no getting away from anyone's gaze.  There were three ladies (and I use that term liberally) who were sitting outside the glass cube in the front row closest to it's back wall.  Despite my noble intentions of meditation, the ladies thought I was there to commit crimes against Onan.  And they told me about it.  They heckled me through the glass.  Everyone could hear them.  They said I was going to "peel my banana" and "send my soldiers down the water slide" and "make lotion".  Needless to say my meditations were disrupted, and I felt more than a little embarrassed.  My face was red, and it wasn't just because the glass room was hot.  My embarrassment was what those ladies were looking for and they laughed and laughed and returned to waiting for their next victim. 

I haven't returned since.

1 comment:

sybil law said...

Fuck those bitches!

And I hope you're never there for trouble. :)