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Titling Makes Me Randy

Sometimes I'll write just so that I can title something.  There's nothing like a good title.  The same can be said for wanting a baby; once the naming has been done, I would probably lose interest, unless the name really rolled off the tongue, or unless I experienced some head trauma and it affected my short term memory.  A name like Blingers, or Flingtroll would be good names, but then they probably get their asses beaten out on the playground, but that's not my matter.  A kid has to fight for himself, right?  Like the boy name Sue.  That boy would know how to knife fight, and how to cook pork.  Not that I'm saying you have to have a funny name to be a cook or a butcher, but it would help.

It's for the love of names that I own an aquarium and so many fish.  I've named all 73 of my fish.  Of course, since there are five different species in the tank with the smallest group numbering 13, a fish will receive a different name on any given day.  And if I happen to forget a name or two, no matter, I just name them again.  Not only is naming therapeutic, it's also good for the memory, like doing crosswords, and it's the memory function that helps us in old age.  You want to smell of medicine right?  Wear diapers, right? and forget where your glasses are when they are on your head, right?  Ha ha!  Just joking, old people are fine... or are they?  


dogimo said...

I can sympathize with the naming bug. I have reams and rafts of band names awaiting even one band to pick between them. Book titles of books that I'd love to read! But wouldn't necessarily want to trouble to write. I have a number of first-rate child names which would never pass the muster of any potential mother whose opinion and worth I'd respect enough to want to, uh, put it indelicately.

But ultimately, the thrill of naming, the momentary moment in which you take what is, and by naming it, create it anew, is, uh, this sentence has made enough of its point already.

Anonymous said...

I just bought a hammer head shark for my tank last week...He hasnt been named yet..Can you come up with a good one for me ;)

John Dantzer said...

Branwen - Don't get me started.