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Tang, Pepper and Something Else

You walk in, and what's that smell? Lemon tang with something peppery. Mmmm, lemon tang and peppery. You take a sniff. And then a bigger sniff. Lemon tang, peppery, and something else. Something dubious. You take another smelling. Definitely something dubious. It kind of smells like someone else's poo. Hints of poo among the tang and pepper. You see something cooking in the rice cooker, it's sizzling. You have spotted the source of smell good, but where is smell bad coming from? 

You check the bathroom. The toilet is empty, and since the toilet (unfortunately, and probably illegally) opens onto the kitchen there is still smells of tang and pepper, and yet subtle smells of dump. Could it be? Could your roommate have known that you would be coming home at a certain minute, and could he have prepared an aromatic dish, and then, skillfully, made brown, flush, and hide in his bedroom? How devious. He's probably laughing in there as we speak.

4 comments:

sybil law said...

Hahahaha
Oh, gross.
But still - funny. :)

JMH said...

If I were the roommate, I would cook the delicious smelling dish on the stovetop and a poo in a 200 degree (93 C) oven and then retreat into my room to eat, leaving the oven on. I would be a bad roommate.

John Dantzer said...

sybil - I'm glad you think it's funny - and gross.

JMH - Steamy poo. Ew ew. Much much worse than ghost poo.

Lora said...

you know what I hate? I hate when you come home and your house smells delicious, like someone is roasting a roast with carrots and potatoes and celery and onions and so you go in your kitchen to take a peek in the crock pot or oven or whatever and then from the bathroom someone yells, "hello? is someone there? I'll be right out."

Poop that smells like food confuses my aura.