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Mosquitoes Are Smarter Than Poker Players

I have taken to my tent for some time because I am following the dream, not the dream of winning millions, but as you will see this is a by-product and an addiction of the dream. As a result I've developed a closer relationship with mosquitoes. They desperately want the blood of others so that they can feed their young. Only the women have stingers, the men are content to frolic in the fields sipping dew from many a wayward flower. The women want to ensure the survival of their young, but I think they must also really like biting people, and making them itch. The high of the sweet sweet blood being engulfed and stored in their bodies is probably proportionate to the pleasure they get from knowing they've left their mark on your body. Consequently the pleasure I get from having a good scratch, usually in the vicinity of the ankles, is proportionate of the inverse squared for my hatred of them.

Since tenting and playing on-line poker for me have become synonymous, I cannot help but make the comparison of mosquitoes and their thirst for blood, and humans playing poker for their thirst of the win. In this case the blood is the accumulation of the money we have deposited in hopes of winning more money. Mosquitoes deposit saliva into their victims to aid with the feeding. As has already been mentioned, poker players do not compete by spitting since we are not alchemists and have not yet figured out how to turn saliva into gold, but a transformation does occur with the money we deposit, as it occurs from saliva to blood in the mosquito. The money deposit is transformed from earned money (honest) to money reeking with the shattered hopes and dreams of people everywhere. The earned money is worth more, since it is real, whereas the poker money will probably never be seen except at the higher levels where asking for a withdrawal is actually worth it. So, both mosquitoes and poker players have to make a deposit, and in both cases the deposit undergoes a transformation and is made in hopes of winning.

Mosquitoes see animals and humans by CO2 and heat emissions, they know the target, however, sometimes they get confused and attack other hot things like fire, mangoes and sun heated aluminum. As with money in general it is an abstraction. There is no giant, bulbous creature made of bills and coins that poker players can attack with pointy objects. Our target is invisible: a monster taunting you with shuffled decks and bags with dollar signs on them. Instead of using pointy objects, we use our minds which may or may not be sharp. Sometimes, by gambling, positive results will be achieved despite the sharpness of your mind. The mouth parts of mosquitoes do not vary much in terms of sharpness but a mosquitoes ability to gamble does. Attacking fire for it's sumptuous heat: a poor gamble. Attacking my butt: a poor gamble. I often slap my ass for no reason, the presence of a mosquito will only increase their odds of death. Maybe mosquitoes do not possess intelligence and they have no choice whether to attack or not, but they must have intuition, and it is with this they gamble: roaring flames, or a wooly mammoth. It's their decision. Poker players also gamble, and are also faced with positive and negative results.

When a mosquito wins, she sits for a few days digesting the blood. Once it is digested, she mates with a swarm of males and then lays her eggs in the water. Alternatively, if I win at poker, I quickly play again only to lose what I have won. This is the equivalent of a mosquito going back for more, despite satiety. In this respect, mosquitoes are smarter than I am, or, the appetite for money can never be sated, but if that were the case the invisible poker monster would consume us all. If the future of my children depended on my gambling decisions, I would probably be more careful, since it's not, I keep playing for the thrills and possibilities. That would be like a mosquito going back for a second helping with dreams of giant offspring, but even if she did do such a thing, her offspring would be affected quantitatively, not qualitatively. Now, if I was playing poker not with the prize of invisible money monster in mind, but at a home game with the prize as dignity, that would be comparable to hatching giant mosquitoes. Here is one example of our superiority of mosquitoes: a creature with superior blood causing giant mosquitoes will be hard to find, whereas our dignity is usually present and can be wagered at will. Dignity, of course, is just one attribute of ourselves which we can gamble with to produce the equivalent of giant mosquito offspring.

Although we have bigger brains, and mosquitoes have teeny tiny ones, mosquitoes are smarter in respect to gambling if they have intuitions and use them. However, a mosquitoes prize is inferior, since it will take millennia for them to produce giant mosquitoes.

As previously mentioned, poker is an unfortunate side effect of my decision to follow the dream. Playing poker does nothing with anyone's progress of "the dream". In this respect mosquitoes will always be more successful, since what they are doing is perpetuating their species and feeding birds. By playing poker all we are doing is sending chemicals to our brains which aid in killing time, feelings of grandeur, and desperation. But if I am not mistaken these may be the components of life and the dream. Our results are more varied, and rarely lead to death unless the desperation becomes too much to handle, or if the feelings of grandeur cause you to try and fly, or make you think you are stronger than you actually are. A mosquitoes sense of desperation is probably converted quickly to anger with the most probable result being death. Our lives are like a feeling salad, mosquitoes lives are like a feeling train. It's either stop or go with them and there is only one track. If reincarnation exists, and you have a choice between human or mosquito I would choose mosquito for this reason alone. Who wants to be stuck on a train their whole lives? Only engineers, and we all know what they are like.


Asylum Dolly said...

Mosquitoes are sneaky, and i suspect a little sadistic. They love to wait until you are on the brink of peaceful sleep, then they fly close to your head with that godawful high pitched buzzing, which deprives us of sleep with it's noise and threat of itchiness. I know they do it on purpose too, because they can choose to be silent when they want to be.
As for poker, i have never played it. I suck at all card games, so i probably should avoid it.

Asylum Dolly said...

its , not it's. I don't have my thinking cap on today. Do you guys call mosquitoes "skeeters"? We calls them "mozzies" here. For some reason my dad calls them "mosquileroes".
Anyway,i cant do good comment when my brain isn't working right, so i will go now.
Stop playing poker!!!!

John Dantzer said...

Sometimes we call them skeeters, but only when we are roasting marshmallows. Sometimes I call them mozzies. Mosquileroes is the best I've heard, but a bit tough to say. Thanks for the poker advice!

sybil law said...

Poker is a sucker's game.

I have so many mosquito bites - it is positively ridiculous. They always swarm to me but this year it's INSANE! I am covered and miserable!
Nasty little bloodsucking fuckers...