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Giving Birth to Reality

I'd hate to go through labour.  I've been a labourer before for construction companies, but never have  I given birth.  I'm glad it's the woman's duty.  They have been doing it forever, and as a result have wired their brains toward that effect.  It's the reason why they have the ability to push things out of their mind so well.  Because if you were faced with having a baby come out of a relatively small aperture in your body at some point in the future, the thought of it alone might be a cause of insanity.  So, like a big fat switch, whenever those thoughts arise, the switch trips and those thoughts are replaced instead with cravings of chocolate or ice cream, for example.

This re-wiring is also the cause of massive hysterical breakdowns.  The breakdown occurs when a woman has to give birth to reality.  For months, she has been using the "labour switch" to cope with some hideous physical manifestation on her horizon.  Whenever thoughts of it become too intense or unpleasant, the switch trips, and now she focuses on maybe wanting to murder someone, or a good ol fashioned neck stabbing.  But you can only content yourself with thoughts of gruesome murder for so long.  As the arrow of time and space move steadily towards you, there will come a day when reality hits and when it will force it's way through a relatively small aperture in your mind.

Just as the unpleasant business of birthing produces bundles of joy, so also "mind labour" or "finally dealing with all the shit in your life" produces bundles of joy, but not in the form of babies (unless you imagine them that way), but in the form of catharsis.  Gone is the weak bladder, gone are the strange cravings, gone is sleep as you used to know it.  Now your "baby" is a vague reminder of what you had to go through to get it here.  And now that it's here, you'll be taking care of it, so that all that effort (and socially acceptable insanity) doesn't go to waste.

It's for this reason that age and wisdom are proportional.  Once you have had enough "babies", and once you have nurtured them into complex bundles of disillusionment, your reality will no longer manifest itself all at once and in such bodily ways.  Your reality will inform you of matters that only relate to you vicariously.  That is why, in an act of symbology, you should give your mom a cake and/or a magazine that she likes.


JMH said...

I never thought of it that way. I never even thought to think of it that way.

My mind is bent now, but I think it's made of SmartGel, so it should return to its regular shape shortly.

ponks said...

great post! and i love the expression: giving birth to reality.

John Dantzer said...

JMH - Yes! I pounded your mind. I'd like for the impressions to be more permanent, but maybe it's better for the both of us that they're not.

K. - Thanks!

Gabriel Sigma said...

Very interesting analysis. I'm certainly relieved I'll never have to go through the mental and physical hardships of labour.