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An Evening Out

I wanted to go see a movie the other night, but will wait till Tuesday when it is more affordable. Affordability wasn't in mind when I was walking there, though. Beer, cigarettes and popcorn were, and women. I imagined the movie to be a mecca of sorts. I could feel it in my heart. Maybe there would be women there, I could have popcorn, get drunk and smoke cigarettes. I had nothing better to do and the sun was out, so I chose to walk, but the walk is over two hours long. Not only could I see women, eat popcorn get drunk and smoke cigarettes, I could also rest my legs after the two and half hour long walk. I imagined all the beer I would drink, and the cigarettes I would smoke, and the women I would have sex with, and all the popcorn I would eat, and the feeling I'd get from resting my legs. There would also be the movie, which are entertaining in their own right. I didn't know what was playing, but I was heading to the old theaters which played old movies, but not old enough for DVD. The last movie I saw there was The Weatherman with Nick Cage, and it was great. I also saw Over the Hedge there which was also very good. I've never gone to a theatre by myself since I've always had a certain amount of respect for myself and not appearing in movies alone. But on that night I was willing to do it, on account of all the women, and the resting of my legs and popcorn etc.

I had plans for the evening in my head, and was viciously swatting at disgusting mosquitoes, which happened to be horrible that evening because there was no wind, and it had rained recently. Then I heard a man calling his dog, but I couldn't see the dog, or the man, and I thought someone was calling me. Then I heard the man call his dog "bone head," but I thought he was calling me this. Then I saw the man, he was a fat man, who had taken the leash off his dog to be nice, but had failed to train the dog properly, and the dog was sauntering around sniffing and peeing. The fat man was in no condition for running, but he wielded many a threat. But dogs can't understand English. Nevertheless the fat man spoke to the dog as though he were in a sitcom from the 70's. The dogs name was Munch.

"Mmmmuuunnnccchhhh! If you don't come here right now, you're in big trouble." The dog kept walking, of course, and sniffing, peeing. I also kept walking, walking past that travesty. Isn't it sad when masters have no control over their pets? That was the first thought I had, and since the "objective" world is in fact a reflection of ourselves, I started rethinking my trip to the movies. I knew I did not like the image of the dog, a small terrier of some sort, running amok, and instantly compared the dog to my mind. Then I wasn't sure if the dog was my mind or my soul. Maybe the dog was my will, and the owner was my soul. I was confused. The image, though, stuck in my mind and had me feeling bad. I kept on walking towards the movies, but it was a two hour walk, and the movie would start in half an hour. That meant I would miss some of the beginning, but that probably wouldn't matter since I would be having fun drinking and smoking and having so much sex all while eating popcorn. But I was also trying to be good, and the dog off it's leash was enough to make me turn back.

I thought I was being good. The dog must be my will, and by turning back I was listening to the rational part of me, which I equated with the owner, who was a fat man, with little no respect for himself, who couldn't even keep his stupid dog under control. Yep, better turn back, lest my mind turn into a fat man, which it already was. Or maybe the fat man was my will, I don't know, was confused about that. I thought I was doing the right thing. So I turned back towards home, and swatted away mosquitoes, I didn't see the fat man and his dog again, I imagined he was chasing the dog down the hills, and was leading him into raccoons dens and skunk dens, and he was getting sprayed and was stinky.

Then I saw a couple of twenty year olds holding hands with a dog on a leash. The dog was even smaller, a terrier of some sort, but was female, as could be reckoned by the pink bow in it's hair. Oh no! I exclaimed at the sight. What have I done! But it was too late to turn around and get stupid drunk, and have so much sex and eat popcorn and smoke cigarettes and watch a movie. It was too late. Now instead of the dog being free -- a careless male hound dog on a wild sniffing and peeing tear, with no regard for what his master says peeing wherever -- my soul, or will, or mind was now a little girl dog on a leash with a goddamn pink bow in it's hair with two douche owners! What could this mean! It was not looking good. My mind a bitch dog with two perfect cutesy in love wankers on an evening walk. Needless to say I hung my head. Walking a bit more, imagining all the popcorn and beer and cigarettes and sex and movie that could have been infiltrating me, but now with regret and a heavy heart. Swatting mosquitoes, trying to suck my blood.

Then I saw another couple, but they were older this time, more yuppie, and the man was no longer such a douche, but still kind of a douche, but now there were two dogs! And they were off their leashes and not running away, and the dogs were bigger, and not terriers, but maybe real hound dogs, or some dog with floppy ears and red and white. Those dogs sniffed with intent, and would have responded to their masters calls. It was a good sign. The dogs were my mind, the masters were my soul. No no no, the dogs were my body and the masters were my mind. Yes. Well whatever, based on the outside reflection of myself, I'd say I made the right decision.


Asylum Dolly said...

My brain hurts. So confusing, with all the "maybe the dogs are my soul or maybe they are my mind" stuff. I read it twice though because i like to try cracking the code. To me it sounds like a struggle between two opposing aspects of yourself, but i may be drawn to that conclusion because that is my own struggle, and so i am just seeing what makes sense to me personally.

That is the first time i have seen the double rainbow vid. I've heard people talking about it before though. He sure is excited! The comment saying "somebody needs to give him some skittles" made me laugh. That reminds me of when i saw this video on youtube of this was a brightly coloured parachute, and it twirled around a bit, then ran into some guy who was watching, knocking him over. Somebody wrote after it "taste the rainbow" which i found hilarious.I am giggling just being reminded of it.

Anyway, i would say that the owners are the soul, and the dogs are the mind.The soul knows best.
My mind dog is trying to find its owner. Or the owner is trying to find the mind dog. Or the dog thinks it is the owner. Or something.
Interesting anyhoos.

sybil law said...

The rainbow guy is clearly tripping his balls off - hysterical!

I'm so glad you're a strong intelligent dog with some sense of decorum. Now go get that little bitch with bows in her hair.

John Dantzer said...

Bon - Haha, your comment made me laugh. You are nothing but dog, maybe, or the owner and dog need to find each other. Yes, you have put it inot perspective, it really wasn't that confusing. The owners are the soul. But how can you have douchey owners? I thought the soul was supposed to be perfect. Maybe it also gets tainted, but is always more powerful than the mind, unless the mind forms a pack or if it goes rabid then the mind takes control. Thankfully I didn't run into a pack of rabid dogs, that would have been a terrible sign. All mind, no soul.

I'm glad you liked the vid. I love it. You should see the autotuned songs. So funny. Now I think of double rainbows and get happy.

Sybil - Haha, go get that bitch. That is a good point. Maybe not going to the movie made me more attractive to women.

I think the only thing the double rainbow guy was high on was rainbows.

JMH said...

I laughed for a good three minutes out of that three and half minute video. What else can you do?

I like what you've written. I'm quite frankly not in the mood to psychoanalyze, but there's a lot to think about in this post.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'd say the conscious mind is the owner, ineffectual unless it melds and reconciles with the shadow mind of the dogs. Incidentally, from my perspective, that pink-bowed dog is the most likely to rip out its owners' throat while they sleep. Animal instincts should remain animal instincts, unprettied.

John Dantzer said...

Thank-you for the analysis. It makes sense. They are both minds, one the conscious one the unconscious, or something like that.

I wear a bow in my hair as well to fool people. It doesn't work.