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Air Show

I went to the air show last weekend. The quality and specimen of their air was sub-standard. The only air that saved the show was their Nitrous Oxide, because it made everyone high, and giggly. I saw Jesus.

There was a booth which you walked into blindfolded, and you had to open these cases to see if you could identify the correct smell with the object making the smell. One case was almonds, one was apples, and one featured the exposed ass of a naked man, who had not washed. I thought it was smelly socks at first, but after my nose had been in there good, I realized my mistake. Those without blindfolds on had a good laugh, as did the smelly ass man standing in the case.

At a booth they had three or four blond woman who weren't the sharpest pencils in the pack, and they were supposed to be "air heads". I sneezed, and one of them said "Gesundheit", which she said was French talk for "Adios". I smiled and nodded.

In another booth sat a few large men eating beans who were "fixing the air". I did not linger there, having my own air to fix, or "crop dusting", if you will.

I "crop dusted" my way all the way to the belching competition, where one small Asian man recited a Shakespearean monologue in burp. He won a gold plated statue of Homer making burp face.

The wind instrument band could be heard intermittently from afar, through the sporadic fog horns. And everyone there was either wielding a kazoo, or the dreaded vuvuzela.

For dancing we acted like snowflakes.

"Air Cakes" were our main sustenance, which we washed down with extra carbonated beer, and finished with cotton candy.

If it wasn't for their sub-standard air specimens, this show would have been on par with the air show in Nantes. It was a good time none the less. My nose has partaken of the deadly scent: Devil's Breath. Now I'm having troubles sleeping at night, and when I do, my dreams ring with terror.

1 comment:

sybil law said...

That's it - we have GOT to hang out!