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A Twisting Good TIme

When presented with either a mug or a transparency projector, most humans will choose the projector to take with them to a desert island. 

Dr. McRivenstein, when conducting his surveys he asked one woman the usual question and she replied no differently.  Her name is Nancy and she likes riding her bicycle around but especially on mountain trails.  Nancy said, "I just want to go to that island now.  I can't stop imagining what I'd do with that projector, you know.  You could do so many things with it, you know.  Like, that bent metal pipe that holds the lens?  I mean, you could make some kind of instrument with it, you know?  Like a flute?  I would just sit out there on that beautiful beach and just play my bent metal flute, you know?  And if the ants were bothering me, I'd just totally fry them with the magnifying glass, you know?  I could do that for hours, just frying things up, oh my god."  She was sitting right next to Dr. McRivenstein, in his office on Turnstyle street in the HamptyHamps.  She was almost whispering her words directly into the Doctor's good right ear. 

"What do you think you would do with the black plastic knob?" He asks.

"The knob?" Nancy replies.

"Yes the black plastic knob there on the side which is used to raise or lower the projection table," he points it out on the 1:2 scale model on his office desk with his pointing stick.

"Oh, the knob.  There it is.  You know, this might sound strange, but I've never even thought about it," Nancy looks at the doctor, then looks down and laughs with embarrassment.

"Well why don't you give it a thinking, Nancy.  There is still time."

Nancy puts her index finger on her chin and looks at the ceiling apparently in thought.  "O.k. I got it.  I know what I'd do with it."

"What would you do?" He readies his pen for the writing of.

"I would take off all my clothes..."


"And I'd lie there on the beach..."

"Yes, OK..."

"And I'd put the knob on my stomach. And I'd twist it..."


"And I'd twist it some more..."


"And I'd keep on twisting it..."

"Yes, twisty.  OK. And then what? What would happen?"

"I'd twist myself into myself and have a huge moaning scream."

"A huge scream.  OK. Do you scream often?"

Nancy laughs.  She tilts her head back and laughs a bit too loud.  "What kind of question is THAT!?"  She slaps the doctors good right knee.

"Never mind that, Nancy.  I think you may have a problem.  And your time is up.  And your last cheque bounced.  Please don't come back until you can pay.  Good Day."

Nancy wears a look of being let down.  The only reason her cheque bounced was because her boyfriend used her therapy money for drinks.  She would tell this to the doctor, but he wouldn't understand.  She hangs her head and leaves.  "Good day, doctor."

Now that Dr. McRivenstein knows that Nancy is gone by checking at the shutters, he twists off the black plastic knob and takes off all his clothes and lies down on the couch.  He puts the knob on his stomach and starts to twist.  He really twists it hard.  They can hear his screams all the way in Flanfow. 

"There is the doctor again," the Flanfowians say.  "Having a twist of a time."

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